this narrow path

2 corinthians 9:7-9


⁷ Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. ⁸ And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. ⁹ As it is written: “They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor; their righteousness endures forever.”


two things that came into mind as i was reflecting upon this:

1) the biggest thing that used to motivate me to be successful was so that i could give back to those who are less fortunate than i am. seems a little cliche,, but i had it all planned out in mind. but ever since the start of my junior year, i've become so self absorbed with my future.. it got to the point for me where my future revolved around myself. me, me, me. some of you have heard me say how i've been losing motivation lately.. i feel like i dont study as much as i used to. i'm usually extremely uptight, but now, i'm okay as long as i complete the bare minimum. i think i've lost my touch.

2) i rebuke myself in this-- but serving as a small group leader, i feel like i haven't been giving it my all. spiritually, i've been too busy seeking help for myself, that i couldn't cater to my fellow brothers and sisters. there's so much i could have done or should have done.


wrapping this all together,, scripture encourages the act of generosity. back in fourth grade, i wrote an essay on what it means to be generous and won the best essay out of all the fourth graders in the school. since then, i thought i had it pretty much down. knowing and acting upon it... but lately, i've been feeling more selfish than feeling generous. God loves a cheerful giver.. how do i pick myself up again then to become this cheerful giver that God wants me to become?. and again, the question comes in as to whether or not this is for God or for myself... let's work on this esther che..