this narrow path

escape.

everytime i try to escape, He pulls me back in. every time i make an initiative to walk down another path, He blocks my way and tells me to take HIs. every time i feel like i'm trying to do the right thing, He tells me it's the opposite.

this is something that i've been thinking about a lot lately,, actually, it's all i think about whenever i daydream in class or when i'm walking on campus. living this christian life is tough.. i'm constantly at a battle with God, questioning Him and His ways.. His path doesn't always make me happy; in fact, sometimes, i feel like i've suffered more than i've rejoiced trying to follow Him rather than myself.

it's got sort of a negative tone to it all,, but in the end, the main thing that i gain from this is the act of obedience. especially during the past month, He's given me clear cut responses to my burdens that i have cast upon HIm within my prayers. how does He do it? He blocks the direction that i'm leaning towards, just so that i'll have no other choice and will turn back to His ways. it's to the point for me where i can pray for something and He'll show me what He wants within the next couple days. and what's funny is that He never says yes to me. but i reluctantly, yet obediently, say yes to Him.

Your path is narrow, but Your burden light.