this narrow path

joel 2:13

Rend your heart and not your garments; return to the Lord your God for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and relents from sending calamity


rend your heart? and not your garments? i admit, i was sort of confused when i first read this, so i did a little research and it turns out that during the old testament days, rending one's garments was to symbolize going through something traumatically emotional. but in joel, GOd commands to "rend your heart" instead of garments. maybe as a next step for us? to offer what's on the inside instead of what's on the outside.

and return to the Lord your God... i don't know, sometimes, i have the hardest time turning back to God for help. when i thought everything was picking itself up again and life was headed towards the right direction, He shoots me down again. twice in the last couple days to be exact. i truly feel like He has taken every ounce of pride that i once had. and with this, i SHOULD be rejoicing because it is in our weakness when He is made perfect. but right now, i don't think i've ever been so miserable with the route my life is headed towards. i feel so trapped like there's no way out. this is when i'm most thirsty for HIs grace and compassion to be shown, even if i feel it might be impossible for me to get up and continue walking again.